It's not uncommon in this day and age for a guy to ask a girl out to the movies or dinner without any prior permission. The entire process of dating someone, getting to the stages of engagement, and then eventually marriage are still serious matters. However, compared to the complexity of courting and marriage proposals that were in practice during the Victorian Era, our style of becoming romantically involved with an individual are almost casual and even improper according to the old rules of romancing a woman.
A girl only became available to date someone at the age of seventeen or eighteen, and only after she had gone through a coming out ceremony. During this time she was given an entirely new wardrobe of more mature looking dresses, and her father would let out the news that his daughter was able to date and be married. Obviously in this day and age such grandeur isn't paid to the dating age of a girl. Many girls date at younger ages than this, and often times without consent of their parents.
The role that a man played in the courting process was just, if not more, important and complicated. There were many very specific rules that he had to follow in order to earn the approval of the father in order to court a young woman. If a man met a woman whom he liked at a party, he had to give her his card along with any other potential suitors. The lady would then pick which man she wanted to be in her company for the evening. However, once the party ended, the same man wasn't allowed to approach the lady again on the streets unless he was re-introduced by a mutual friend. This certainly doesn't apply today; men and women can choose to speak to each other whenever they feel like, no middle man involved.
If he suceeded in gaining approval from the woman's father and began the courting process, it was under the watchful eyes of the family. He could go visit the lady only in her home for the first little while, and he had to say goodbye to her at the door. If things went well then the couple could eventually move out onto the front porch of the house. They were never allowed to be truly alone together though, as a way of protecting the innocence of the lady. This is very different from this day and age, where couples go on dates by themselves without any sort of chaperone.
One custom that still remains in use today, though again nowhere near as important as it once was, is the man asking for permission to marry a lady from her father. This was usually done in person, but a man could also do it in writing. The news of an engagement was kept secret for a few days to give ample time for any problems to be sorted out and avoid damaging the reputation of the man if the deal fell through. If all was well, he would then give the woman a ring to bring the deal together. In modern times women don't have to wait to hear from both sides of the family to accept a marriage proposal. While it is nice to have inlaws who like you, it's not exactly a big deal nowadays.
The Vistorian Era made the entire process of courtship and engagement into a truly theatrical event. With all of the fanfare that it involved, it's a wonder that anyone ever got married at all.
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