My Year in Photos

Self-Discovery

 This past year has really presented me with a lot of opportunities to discover who I really am as a person, and who I want to continue to be as I go out into the world. I've developed many new interests such as painting and films, and I'm really enjoying a lot more in life than just my old standby of music. I’ve also made up my own mind about a lot of issues and subjects related to family, their beliefs that stem from religion (and my dissent from those beliefs), as well as with myself. I’ve embraced my strong will and refusal to compromise what I believe and how I see things in order to placate my friends or family. I’m very content with the person that I’ve become, and I wouldn’t dream of changing myself at all.

Independence

I’ve also realized that I highly value my independence. That’s not to say that I won’t accept help from someone else, but I’ll accept it on my own terms. I’d rather get something done myself than have someone else come in and do half of the work for me. I’m ready to go out there and make my own way in the world. It’ll be tough but I’d rather do that than be utterly dependent upon other people for my entire life.

Friendship

 I’ve gained some amazing friends this year, and had some of the best times of my life. I wasn’t very optimistic about moving to Homedale last year, and I was a loner for the first year here. But now I’ve got a great group of people who I can hang with, and it makes me really happy. I also lost some friends, and distanced myself from people who made less than desirable company. It sucks to lose friends, sure, but I’m not going to keep people around who aren’t up to the standards of people I want to be close to.

Confidence

I am shy, and I am awkward around people most of the time. It’s no secret. A lot of people mistake that for me believing that I’m too good to socialize, when really I’m just an introvert. I’ve suffered through self-esteem issues, and depression, and it crippled how I dealt with people a lot. But this year I’ve managed to coax myself back out of the shell I’d created for myself. I don’t care what people think of me anymore, because people are going to judge me no matter what I do. I’ve come to terms with that. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me in the end, because I love myself.

No Time

 There has been no time for anything. Seriously, how did I manage to get anything done at all? There were so many things that I wanted to accomplish and now here I am in the homestretch of high school with very few of them actually finished. It’s a good thing I’ve got my entire life ahead of me, because apparently eighteen years isn’t enough time for much.

Fun

 Along with the new friends I’ve made, I’ve had tons of fun with them all. In years past I never got out much. I was content to sit in my room all day long throughout the summer months and just be alone. I still love my alone time, and there are days where I don’t talk to anyone and just spend my time off by myself. However, I’ve learned that going out and having fun with my friends is just as important and my own time to reflect upon things. Between going to the movies, dinner, and having Friday night get-togethers to watch Supernatural with my pals, it’s been a great year.

Family

Last but not least, my family. My last year at home before I move into my dorm at college has made me see how much I love them. Yes, even my obnoxious brother Dillon. They’ve done right by me, and my parents have raised me to be a wonderful person. I’m going to be a little sad when I leave for school because I won’t see them every single day (especially after next May when Dillon leaves to join the armed forces). I fully appreciate how important family is to me.

The End Is Extremely Nigh.

Moving on from high school. I still don’t know how I feel about this. Anxious? Yes. Relieved? Definitely. This last month of school has flown by, and now that we’re down to the wire, I suppose I need to get into the mindset that I’m ready to leave high school behind for good.

As far as academics go, I believe that I’m ready to go on to college. My high school education has been split evenly between Fruitland and Homedale, and I do feel like Fruitland did a better job in most respects at giving me knowledge to put towards my future. Obviously Fruitland has more money to put towards their education programs, which gives them the advantage over this school for academics. However, there are parts of HHS that have benefited me more. The math program here provides you with more one on one time with the instructor, which I really need because math is far from my strongest subject. I do wish that I could go back and be able to learn my mathematics, as my grasp of it is still rather weak. So I would say that between the combinations of the two schools, I’ve been fairly well-prepared to graduate.

I feel that I’m ready to take on the responsibilities of being out on my own in the world. I already take care of a lot of my own things and do what I’m supposed to do without being instructed constantly. If I could’ve done anything differently it would have been to perhaps get a part time job. Aside from smaller jobs and the babysitting that I did for a while, I don’t have very much experience with working. I’d also care more about getting my driver’s license, seeing as I still don’t have it. Honestly, I don’t see the big deal about being able to drive but whatever. I’ll work on.

Overall, I think I can handle going out into the real world. It’ll be tough, but I’m expecting that already. It helps a bit to know that if I ever need help with anything, I’ll have my family and friends around the area to give me a hand. After all, growing up doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re cut off one hundred percent from your youth.

Comedy of Manners

A comedy of manners is used to make fun of the social upper classes and their behavior which, at many times as we see in The Importance of Being Earnest, is outlandish and hypocritical.

Lady Bracknell's character and attitude towards others is a big part of why this play is a comedy of manners. She believes without doubt to be correct about things, and really doesn't leave room for anyone to make argument otherwise. When she is questioning Jack about his family and he admits to have lost his parents, rather than be sympathetic she says that he's careless. Obviously he can't control the fact that he's been an orphan since he was a baby, but Lady Bracknell overlooks that. She has a certain mindset on how things should be in life and holds very firmly to these beliefs. The stubborn, snobbish nature of the woman is bordering on unbelievable.

Another scene that's funny but at the same time shows the two-faced nature of many upper class women is when Cecily and Gwendolen meet. From the jump they claim that they'll be the best of friends despite knowing nothing about one another. However, when the news comes out that they're both engaged to marry Ernest, they turn on each other immediately. Despite making claims that they knew not to trust each other from the start, even though they agreed to be friends, when Jack and Algernon arrive at the same time and reveal the true nature of their names, the girls become friends again. The flighty nature of how they behave, allowing their emotions to overrule common sense and simply going along with what's happening at that moment displays how fickle the ladies of the time period could be.

Lastly, we have Miss Prism. In the play she's very strict and proper, and has open disdain for Jack's brother Ernest and all of the stories about his distasteful behavior in the city. Miss Prism tries to impress upon Cecily how important it is to be a lady and never misbehave. At the same time though, she's encouraging this awkward, flirting relationship with Dr. Chausuble, a man who has sworn himself to celibacy and service of the church. Not only that, but we also find out that she misplaced a baby and then fled from her actions rather than own up to it. Miss Prism acts as if she can do no wrong, and always has the right opinions of others, when in fact she isn't a saint herself.

The Importance of Being Earnest quotes.

“Good Heavens! Is marriage so demoralizing as that?”

This was said by Algernon on page 116 in response to Lane making the remark that wine in a married household isn’t as good as the wine in the household of a single person. What Algernon meant by this was that once a person gets married, the quality of their life and belongings goes down dramatically. He believes that the only way to really be happy and to have nice things is to remain single. I don’t agree with his view on this. There’s no reason why getting married directly causes you to not be able to have nice things.

"Pardon me, you are not engaged to anyone. When you d become engaged to some one, I, or your father, should his health permit him, will inform you of the fact. An engagement should come on a young girl as surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself..."

This was said by Lady Bracknell on page 131. She says it to her daughter Gwendolen after she discovers that Gwen has agreed to marry Ernest without the consent of her family. Lady Bracknell believes that young women shouldn't be allowed to take charge of their engagement and marriage affairs, and that the parents have exclusive rights to take charge of everything. I disagree with her philosophy on the subject. If I was going to be married, I would want to be in charge of what was going on. Being allowed to choose who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with is something that I'd really like. Anyone else, even my parents, having the final say just doesn't sit well with me.

"My dear fellow, the truth isn't quite the sort of thing that one tells to a nice, sweet, refined girl. What extraordinary ideas you have about the way to behave to a woman!"

This quote is from Jack on page 137. It is in response to Algernon asking him when he planned to tell Gwendolen about the true nature of his identity. Jack thinks that exposing the whole matter of him really being named Jack, and that Ernest is merely a cover for him to escape his country duties, isn't necessary. Or rather he feels that any sort of truth that really should be known, especially one so pressing as his real name, isn't the type of thing that a young girl like Gwendolen could handle or understand. I don't agree with him on this. Keeping up the facade is just digging him deeper into a hole, and eventually Gwendolen will find out that he's been deceiving her for all of the time that they've known each other.

Modern Day vs. Victorian Era Dating Customs

It's not uncommon in this day and age for a guy to ask a girl out to the movies or dinner without any prior permission. The entire process of dating someone, getting to the stages of engagement, and then eventually marriage are still serious matters. However, compared to the complexity of courting and marriage proposals that were in practice during the Victorian Era, our style of becoming romantically involved with an individual are almost casual and even improper according to the old rules of romancing a woman.

A girl only became available to date someone at the age of seventeen or eighteen, and only after she had gone through a coming out ceremony. During this time she was given an entirely new wardrobe of more mature looking dresses, and her father would let out the news that his daughter was able to date and be married. Obviously in this day and age such grandeur isn't paid to the dating age of a girl. Many girls date at younger ages than this, and often times without consent of their parents.

The role that a man played in the courting process was just, if not more, important and complicated. There were many very specific rules that he had to follow in order to earn the approval of the father in order to court a young woman. If a man met a woman whom he liked at a party, he had to give her his card along with any other potential suitors. The lady would then pick which man she wanted to be in her company for the evening. However, once the party ended, the same man wasn't allowed to approach the lady again on the streets unless he was re-introduced by a mutual friend. This certainly doesn't apply today; men and women can choose to speak to each other whenever they feel like, no middle man involved.

If he suceeded in gaining approval from the woman's father and began the courting process, it was under the watchful eyes of the family. He could go visit the lady only in her home for the first little while, and he had to say goodbye to her at the door. If things went well then the couple could eventually move out onto the front porch of the house. They were never allowed to be truly alone together though, as a way of protecting the innocence of the lady. This is very different from this day and age, where couples go on dates by themselves without any sort of chaperone.

One custom that still remains in use today, though again nowhere near as important as it once was, is the man asking for permission to marry a lady from her father. This was usually done in person, but a man could also do it in writing. The news of an engagement was kept secret for a few days to give ample time for any problems to be sorted out and avoid damaging the reputation of the man if the deal fell through. If all was well, he would then give the woman a ring to bring the deal together. In modern times women don't have to wait to hear from both sides of the family to accept a marriage proposal. While it is nice to have inlaws who like you, it's not exactly a big deal nowadays.

The Vistorian Era made the entire process of courtship and engagement into a truly theatrical event. With all of the fanfare that it involved, it's a wonder that anyone ever got married at all.

Soundtrack To My Life

Hedwig’s Theme - John Williams

How do I even begin to describe how much I adore this song? It’s the theme for my entire childhood, starting from the first time I saw a Harry Potter film up to this moment in time. Every time I hear the first five notes of the song I instantly recognize it, and it never fails to cheer me up. At the same time it makes me feel a little nostalgic and sad, because this is my childhood embodied within a song. That childhood is rapidly coming to a close with both my departure from high school and the last Harry Potter film being released this summer. So this will always be number one for me, if for no other reason than it reminds me of what a great childhood I really had.

Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas

Probably one of the most inspirational songs that I know of to date. I mean, come on, just listen to the lyrics:

Carry on my wayward son

There'll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest

Don't you cry no more

This song is basically a reminder that things in life are going to get tough. It isn’t going to be easy or even happy at all times. But you can’t throw in the towel and accept that everything sucks. You’ve got to keep your chin up and push on. Bad times aren’t everlasting.

There is another reason why this is my number two song. It’s the unofficial theme song for my favorite show of all time, Supernatural. Every single diehard lover of the show never fails to get ridiculously excited and sing along with this song when it comes on the radio or their iPod. It just keeps my hope alive that someday I'll find a guy who drives a '67 Chevy Impala and wears plaid button-down shirts. For this reason I have included a picture of the Winchester brothers from the show because they are fine and my blog needs something nice on it, hahaha.

 

I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

The song that got me through the toughest time period of my life. I’m not going into detail about it because there are things that have happened in my past which I’m not proud of. posting them on a blog where my classmates can read them doesn’t seem like a good idea. All you need to know is that this song really helped me during a time when I didn’t think anything else could. Having the number three spot on my list should tell you just how important this song is to me.

Stupid Girls - P!nk

Say hello to everything that I aspire to be personified within a song. The entire thing is about girls being who they want to be instead of dumbing themselves down and going along with what society says an attractive girl should be. I’ve never felt like I fit in, even from a very young age. It used to bother me a little bit, and I could have very easily just gone along with the crowd and become one of these “stupid girls”. Thank god I didn’t, because I love being my own person with my own agenda. If that means I never have a big group of friends or I never have guys all over me, then that’s perfectly fine with me. As the song goes:

I’m so glad that I’ll never fit in

That will never be me

Outcasts and girls with ambition

That’s what I wanna see

James Bond Theme Song

Who doesn’t like James Bond movies? Seriously, you have problems if you dislike James Bond. The movies are classic. Bond is a B.A.M.F. if I say so myself. The reason I have the theme song on this list is not because of my undying love for all things related to covert operatives though. When I was growing up, every year around Christmas time Spike TV would run a James Bond movie marathon. Every single year I would sit down with my dad and we would watch the Bond films together. It didn’t matter that we knew how every single one was going to end, or that we knew who the evil guy was or which Bond Girl was going to wind up dead. That quality time with my father is something that’s very special to me, and I always think about it whenever I hear the Bond song.

Non, je ne regrette rien - Edith Piaf

Let me just start by saying that I don’t speak French. Well, I can speak a few words but Je ne sais pas isn’t going to get me very far in conversation with a French person, hah. However, the general message of this song is why it’s on this list. Non, je ne regretted rien means “No, I’m not sorry for anything”, and it talks about essentially having no regrets for anything you’ve done in life, good or bad, because tomorrow is a new day. I think that’s something that a lot of people could benefit from instead of worrying over every single thing that they do.

And you know, the song was also in Inception, and that movie was just bad ass. It’s easily in the top five best films I’ve ever seen. Your argument otherwise is invalid.

O Fortuna - Carmina Burana

So technically this was a poem before Carl Orff put it in to song form, but we can look over that detail. Yet again I have another song in a language, Latin this time, so you’ll have to look up the lyrics to know what it’s saying. It’s all about how things such as luck (or Fortuna, the Roman goddess and personification of luck) and fate control our lives and not always in ways that we desire. To listen to this song being performed is just astounding. It always gives me chills to hear it. This was probably one of the first orchestra style songs I ever heard that really caught my attention and made me realize just how awesome classical music is.

Bye, Bye, Bye - N’sync

This was my jam when I was seven years old, hands down. I lived and breathed N’sync right along with every other girl in the second grade. I remember that was some sort of messed up rivalry between the kind who liked N’sync and the kids who liked The Backstreet Boys. We were all insane when it came to this music. My best friend Shannon and I used to dance around at her house for hours just listening to this song, along with the rest of the album. Now that I’m older I just laugh at the thought of me going absolutely out of my head over this band. Still, this song is associated with many fond memories from my earlier days, and I’ll always cherish it.

Enter Sandman - Metallica

Say hello to the first song from the 80s that I have conscious memory of hearing. My dad introduced me to all of his music, which was thankfully what I took after rather than my mother’s taste in country. I remember sitting on the tailgate of our truck and listening to this on tape while my dad looked around in our garage for his fishing tackle. I really blame this song for my taste in music now, but I can’t say I’m complaining too much. This opened up a door to an entire decade of amazing music that it seems like a lot of people have forgotten about.

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

I will be the first person to tell you that I think high school relationships where the couple think they’re absolutely in love and are going to be together for the rest of their lives are a bunch of crap. Maybe that’s just me being bitter because the only relationship I’ve had drove me absolutely crazy in all of the wrong ways and I’ve refused to date since then. But really, I see kids my age who act like they need to be these perfect beings to impress the person they’re dating or the person that they want to date.

Dude, seriously? You’re in high school! Stop acting like you’re going to be alone forever if that guy or that girl doesn’t think you’re the greatest thing they’ve ever seen. There’s no reason for you to try and turn yourself into something that you aren’t just to impress someone.

In the song, Gaga says:

I want your ugly

I want your disease

I want your everything

As long as it’s free

Personally I take those lyrics to heart. That’s the kind of relationship that I’m waiting for; one where I’m going to be accepted for me. Not some façade of myself that I put out there for people to see. You should be accepted for you, including all of your faults and all of the bad things that you think no one else wants. I don’t want one of these perfect romances because those are lies. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. I’d rather have a Bad Romance.

Film vs. Novel

It was pretty obvious that the movie adaptation of Frankenstein was vastly different from the novel. There were some aspects that stayed the same, but many more were changed around into something far more theatric than what actually happened. These changes were somewhat ridiculous and also changed how someone who has never read the story perceived certain characters.

The most interesting change that was made as far as a character went was Elizabeth. In the novel she was more of a passive person who never tried to improve her own situation. Victor went off and did whatever he felt like and although she would write him letters and tell him to come home, Elizabeth never tried harder than that to make Victor listen to her and consider her feelings.

However, in the film Elizabeth is a much more strong willed woman. When Victor becomes obsessed with his project and never tries to contact her, Elizabeth doesn’t just let it go. She travels to the city where Victor is living and speaks to him in person in attempts to get him back. After he comes home and refuses to tell her what’s going on, she attempts to leave him. This really changed how I viewed Elizabeth. Beforehand I thought she was just another useless side character, but in the film I respected her a lot more.

Another change was the manner in which the monster behaved towards Victor. In the novel the creature hated his master and wanted to cause him as much suffering as possible. He didn’t hold any feelings of affection for Frankenstein once he’d decided to get back at him.

In the film the creature still had a lot of animosity towards Victor, but he seemed much more mellow. At the end of the movie he called Victor his father and seemed to be extremely bereft that he was dead. Rather than going off on his own to die as he said he would in the novel, he killed himself with the fire intended to cremate his creator.

Finally we have how strong willed and brave the movie made Victor seem. He went off on his own to face off with the monster in the mountains and chased him all over the place. The film made him appear valiant in the face of adversity, and the type of character that you should admire.

This was obviously not so in the book. Victor was whiny and cowardly, and never made a move to help anyone but himself. People were dying all over the place because of him, and the whole time he sat by and just complained about his own misfortunes. Victor was a much less likeable person in the story than in the movie.

While the films was decent in it’s own right, it didn’t do the book justice in my opinion. It changed the true story around way too much for the sake of Hollywood theatrics.